"You better not have been screwing around," Jonny hisses. "I've been trying to call you all night, and that body is not yours to do whatever."
"Jesus, what is wrong with you? I was sleeping!" Kaner grabs a towel off the rack and hammers it into Jonny's face. "You're the one who's naked."
"I..." Jonny starts, but there's no easy way to explain that he was exercising to stop himself from taking advantage of Kaner's body with Kaner's body, so he just snaps his jaw shut and wraps the towel around his waist instead.
Kaner sniffs. "That's what I fucking thought."
"Shut up," Jonny groans. "The last thing I need right now is a headache from your dumb ass."
"My dumb ass?" Kaner rolls his eyes. "Have you looked in the mirror? You're the one who gets stuck in doorways."
"It's called muscle."
"It's called being a freak."
"Have you seen the size of your chin?" Jonny snaps. "You're not winning any beauty contests, buddy."
Kaner stays silent. Instead, he just drops his mouth open and stares at him blankly.
Jonny frowns. "Stop it."
"No, this is you. This is you on the ice, you caveman," Kaner says, and then he makes the face again.
Jonny tries to keep glaring at him, but can't help it - he laughs. He laughs and laughs until Kaner's laughing too and his sides hurt and he's sinking to sit on the closed toilet and bury his face in his hands. "Oh shit," he says, "we are so screwed."
"Could be worse." Kaner shrugs. "Could've traded bodies with a Sedin."
"Hey man," Kaner says with another shrug, and he sways to hipcheck Jonny's shoulder. "You get to be the 2008 Calder winner for a while. You're living the dream."
"Just what I've always wanted," Jonny groans.
So tell me - how much do I suck?