August 7th, 2012

darkness

Today is a day of failure.

- Tried embroidering four different mouths onto the doll I'm crocheting and couldn't get any of them to turn out right. When I was pulling out the last one, I accidentally screwed up her nose. So, I had to pull that out too. Tried to redo it, but I couldn't get that to turn out either. She's still noseless and mouthless.

- Attempted for the third time to make a pendant with tags from NHL merch. This one was perfect except for the giant fucking bubble under the epoxy. I practiced specifically to avoid that, and it somehow still happened. That was my last tag, too. So. I don't know what to do there. Wait until I have the excess cash to buy another shirt, I guess.

- Attempted to make a TWEWY pin bracelet, but the glue I used bled into the decals and blurred/washed out the ink. Managed to salvage the bezel base, but I had to throw out all the decals and epoxy stickers.

- Had a panic attack. A really nasty one, too. I haven't had an attack in months. It was triggered by the stupidest thing - I had Lucky Charms for breakfast, and the combination of the sugar crash from that and a couple sips of coffee made me jittery. The jitters, in turn, convinced my brain I was dying. Racing heart, tingling extremities, heat flashes, derealization, the whole shebang. It was awful. I ended up wasting three hours in bed after it was over, just half-napping and trying to feel normal again.

- And now my phone is reminding me that I need three different meds every night just to reach "alive" every morning. Feeling pretty useless. I've been nauseous since last night, too, and I still feel mildly tingly and unsettled from earlier. Ugh. Today.

On the plus side, when I started crying, Benny was at my side in seconds. Dogs are pretty awesome.