April 25th, 2012


Five decidedly awesome advantages of adopting a non-puppy!

There are a bazillion articles out there detailing just why adopting a dog rather than getting one from a breeder or pet store is the right choice and a fair amount on why you should consider adopting a dog who's past the puppy phase. I agree with the majority of those arguments, of course, but they're all so serious and legitimate. I mean, you're inviting a big-fanged carnivore into your home. Let's not be purely logical; let's get stupid.

I present to you five decidedly awesome advantages of adopting a non-puppy.

#1: The Backstory
Not only are you adopting a dog, you're adopting a protagonist. My girl Opal lived in the woods with her mom and littermates before joining my pack. Kinda badass. My boy Benny, on the other hand, is a mystery. We know he was adopted once before us, but before that? It's a blank. I choose to believe he was an experimental government project attempting to create the perfect dog. Unfortunately, they let one variable get out of hand: LOVE. So he broke out in search of the perfect home et voila. My faithful mutt.

#2: The Excuses
"Oh no, what is he doing? I've trained him better than that! He must've learned it from his previous owner/other dogs on the streets/that Russian circus he starred in."

#3: The Toys
Dogs, like people, have preferences. My dogs, for example, ignore rubber toys. Well, Benny ignores toys completely, but that's not the point! The point is that I had no way of knowing this until I offered them a rubber toy. You want to have the happiest dog possible, right? So you really should just get one of pretty much everything in the toy aisle. You know, to test the waters. It has nothing to do with how cute that dragon plush is. Really.

#4: The Ego-Boost
You weren't there for those formative months. This dog met you as a mature pup and its mature brain loves you. How neat is that?

#5: The Brainular Superiority
People love babies. The big heads, big eyes, tiny little toes... our brains are wired to gobble that junk up. We also love what we, well, love, though. Your dogs will probably end up looking cuter to you than any others in the world. (This doesn't apply to me, as my dogs truly are the cutest in existence, but I've seen some other poor fools stuck in their delusions.) This "cuter than" deal includes puppies. That's right - the awesomeness of your dogs can overcome your brain's innate wiring to love babies. Don't think about it too hard; just go with it. Dogs trump brain. Suck it, gray matter!

Bonus: Why You Should Adopt Two Dogs: A Diagram