June 22nd, 2010


Believe that change is coming soon.

I actually started taking medication for my anxiety about a week ago. I'd avoided it up until now, because... well... I was anxious about it. Vicious cycle, I know. I'm working on breaking it.

The first day, the meds made me so sleepy I couldn't even bring myself to get dressed and pack my backpack. I e-mailed work and explained the situation. The next day, I must've looked like hell, as I groggily met with my advisor and (after chatting for a while) he suggested that I take a week off and come back when I wouldn't be in danger of passing out in the lab. I took him up on that. So glad I did - I can definitely tell I'm getting used to it, and my panic is subsiding a bit already, but the attacks I've had recently have been brutal and I've done enough lazing around to make Jabba proud. Today, however, I'm perky as fuck. It's nice. I used to be a font of energy, and still am when I'm not panicking, so it's kind of nostalgic and familiar to be a spaz in the good way again. Jaime was amused by our lunch today. Instead of taking deep diaphragmatic breaths and frantically checking my pulse, I marveled at the wonder that was suctioning the bottom of my plastic cup to the table and insisted we play with the iPads in the bookstore afterwards. Hooray for Alex Classic™!

At some point in there, we saw Silversun Pickups in concert, which despite my drugged up state (I had to add two Ativan to the mix to survive the car ride and subsequent musical vibrations) was amazing. The first opening act, Henry Clay People, was pretty good - the music was decent, the performers were into it, the banter was amusing. Definitely fine for an opener. The second, however... I am apparently not a fan of Against Me! I did not like them. At all. Their sound was maxed out constantly at an eardrum-blistering level, their amps were covered in pretentious phrases that were absolutely unsuiting for their music, and the music itself. Man. Not my thing. I was entertained when people threw cups of ice on stage, though, as well as when the lead singer yelled back at a heckler, "Fuck you too, buddy. I am a beacon of love up here, and your facial hair is obnoxious."

So that may have mostly sucked, but Silversun Pickups. Silversun fucking Pickups. Holy god. I was a pretty big fan before, and now I'm hopelessly in awe. They're just phenomenal. They walk out on stage looking like they're from four different bands - the drummer in a yellow shirt with his long dark hair over his face, the keyboardist sporting glasses and a fedora, the bassist clad in a gray sheath dress and red slides (and her bass strap bearing a pattern of skulls), and the lead singer/guitarist bearing slightly stringy hair and facial shrubbery - and then they pick up their instruments and they're immaculate. That drummer is a human metronome, I swear; at one point the rest of the band stopped during a song intro and just watched him go. I have a pretty good sense of rhythm, and I don't think he drifted even the slightest bit. Not a beat out of place. Incredible. Plus, he sets one of the symbols up at the very edge of his reach, which makes for some pretty visually mesmerizing playing. The lead singer's pretty amazing too, as he clearly knows exactly what sound he's going for. He handles distortion pedals like they're part of him. His playing is pretty fantastic too, as is the bassist's, as is the keyboardist's, as is (as mentioned before) the drummer's. I liked their performance instincts too. The stage was bare. All they glitzed themselves up with were freaky-bright colored lights, which made for quite the show on their own, but didn't overpower the music. Then again, I don't know what could overpower music that good. Goddamn. It's just overwhelming how great they are. Oh, and as part of the encore, they dedicated "Substitution" to Hufflepuff House because "that house gets no fucking love." I'm not even a Harry Potter fan and I still think that's badass.

Speaking of music, I heard "Whataya Want From Me" in the Student Union and at Bed Bath and Beyond and "If I Had You" outside a pita place while we were walking to Mochi (for taro frozen yogurt, which is my culinary obsession of the moment. So good.). Nice to know Lambert's getting some airtime.

And, speaking of my obsessions, once I found out that you could write for more than one fandom, I caved and signed up for au_bingo:

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Any requests as to prompts/fandoms you'd like to see? I'm most comfortable writing for Final Fantasy VIII, Persona 4, and The World Ends With You, but I'm willing to branch out a bit. Also, I'm not sure if I should go for a blackout - sports and cyberpunk are not clicking for me. Ideas?